I just had to write about it.

“It’s not my loss.” 

After years of being together, he told me that. I feel like crying. I wanna cry so hard cause those words hit me harder than anything. But for the weirdest reasons, there were’nt any tears to fall. It was all inside. My chest feels so heavy and I could hardly breathe.

I kept on psyching myself that it’s fine, I’ll get over it. That when he, by any chance, decides to win me back again, I hope I would always find my way back to this post. He made me feel like a total zero, and that did wonders to my self esteem. I… feel so sorry for myself. I was stuck with someone for 4 years who didnt think I was as valuable.

I can’t afford to make myself feel this way again. It’s not just a mistake. It’s stupid.